June 6, 2013:
Good Morning Foodies! So, raise your hand, if you know what it means, when JUNE has come around! Ahh! Yes—the dreaded BATHING SUIT SEASON! The other day, I put on my swimsuit! The person looking back at me, yelled, “GIRL, YOU BETTER HIGH-TAIL IT OUT OF HERE AND JOIN SOME HEALTH CLUB OR MAYBE A FEW THAT RUN 24/7! Ugh! So, I put on my INFAMOUS PAJAMA JEANS! Now, the lady looking back at me, was much nicer! She said, “GIRLFRIEND, YOU ARE LOOKING GOOD! FORGET THAT BATHING SUIT!” Have any of you been so fortunate to get the catalog called, “MIRACLE SUIT?” Well, this is what I can tell you about that! I hear that the NASA SPACE PROGRAM, makes the fabric for the suit! This fabric makes SPANX feel like fine lingerie! When you are able to pull it on, just look at yourself sideways—CAUSE THAT IS THE BEST IT IS GOING TO BE! When you face forward, you look like a flat pancake. Not good, my friends! After trying one on, I know why they are called MIRACLE SUITS—IT TAKES A MIRACLE TO GET IT OFF! I wish losing weight was as easy as losing my mind! You do notice that they make the swimsuits for guys that come down to their calves and of course, the cute big overhanging shirt! WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ours just get skimpier with added ruffles and decorations. All that does is call more attention to you! I think I will have to slap someone with my FLIP-FLOP!!!!!!!!! So, when the gentleman tries to make you feel better and say, don’t worry about what people think or how others look at you—tell him—“HEY, GO PUT ON A SPEEDO AND WALK ON THE BEACH!” That might make the light bulb go on! If anyone finds that perfect bathing suit, that hides everything and enhances all the good things, let me know. I have some of my GRAND PEEPS this coming weekend until Monday. So I will not post on Monday but will be post on Tuesday. Have a most enjoyable weekend! SPLISH SPLASH I WAS TAKING A BATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!